Day 53: Memorial Day

It's Memorial Day weekend.

It's a time to remember the sacrifices of my brothers and sisters in arms.  Those who have perished so that we can live freely.

Whenever I get the chance to put on my uniform, it is a sobering reminder of the fact that what we have signed up for has a price.

...and some of us have paid it...

..while the rest of us go home and live our lives.  Sometimes we wonder why we were spared and continue to move along like nothing else has happened.

When news hits of a loss, whether it be through combat, an accident or a death in the line of duty, I cannot really describe how it affects us.

Often due to distance, displacement or operational commitments, we don't have time to mourn.  We lack the opportunity to really get through these losses in a way that allows us to to fully process the gravity and enormity of what happened and integrate the loss into who we are.

Every time I see a flash across the news or social media of another brother or sister who has perished in the line of duty, it becomes so apparent that they wear the same cloth as I did.

When you wear it everyday to go do your job, it is just part of who you are.  While deployed, everyone is going through the same thing and we easily dismiss how much of a risk it is to be where we are.  It's easy to take for granted the danger that goes into the most routine of duties and tasks.

Until you hear the news that someone who you ate chow with last week is no longer around.  You go on with business as usual because you have a job to do.

...while their loved ones will never been the same.

Now that I'm out but still drilling, I have my feet in two worlds.  One where these losses are tragic, foreign and confusing and the other where we the mission still continues in the face of them.

This is why Memorial Day is such a big deal to service members, veterans and their families.

...and why I am proud to be a member of the CrossFit community.

It's one of those rare places where all of us can come together and acknowledge how much these things affect us and change us...and where we can all offer everything that we have up suffering together.

Yesterday at Big D, we ran the classic workout "Murph" in honor of LT Michael Murphy, a US Navy SEAL who was killed in the line of duty on June 28th, 2005 during Operation Red Wing in near Asadabad,Afghanistan.  He was awarded the Medal of Honor posthumously for exercising a complete disregard for his own life and safety to make every effort to contact higher headquarters to send out reinforcements for his men when they were overwhelmed by an assault of enemy Taliban forces that vastly outnumbered their four-man team.  His bravery led to the rescue of one of his teammates and the recovery of the remains of those who perished in battle.

If you want to know more about the legend behind this WOD, click in the link.




Like me, Murph was a Penn State graduate.  This workout always hits close to home.

This Hero workout is a tribute to Murph because while he was alive, it was one of his favorites.  He called it "Body Armor" and doing it Prescribed means wearing body armor or a 20 pound vest.

The WOD consists of the following:

1 mile run
(Any Order for the following)
100 pull-ups
200 push-ups
300 air squats
Cash-out:
1 mile run.

Given that with my rehab I can't do push-ups or pull-ups, I had to modify this with single armed ring-rows and floor press. We also had no extra 20 pound vests so clearly I wasn't doing it prescribed.

So...  I went with boots and utilities so it would at least be a little bit harder.

I headed down to Big D to do it at 10am.  There were a whole bunch of people from the community and the usual suspects there to get it done.

I don't know what got into me.  I ran it HARD.  Harder than any other workout I've done.

I did the first mile in 8:30.  I was shocked.

...then I went to the rest and I tried to break it up 10, 20, 30.  It worked for 3 sets and the I started to fatigue, so I just started doing rounds of Cindy 5, 10, 15.  I just kept moving.  I did not stop to catch my breath or anything.

There were people of all different kinds of fitness, backgrounds and abilities working out with us.  I shared the rings I was doing rows on with a mother/daughter team.  It was awesome to see them supporting each other.



...Laurie came up to me in the middle of my second to last round of Cindy while I was doing squats and said "PAUSE".  I looked up and she just hugged me...

..gotta love the support of this community.

I booked the second mile back in less than 10 minutes, leading two teenage girls who had stopped to walk and I finished in a disgustingly fast 42:15.

Hopefully when I get rehabbed up and able to do the entire WOD I am just as fast as before.

But more importantly, every time I run one of these WODs, I try to remember those who I have encountered in my career that are no longer with us.


SSgt Hasan Murchinson



GySgt Adam Benjamin, KIA OEF 2009


1stLt Ryan Iannelli, KIA OEF 2011



Maj Ryan Hansen



Offering it up for my brothers and sisters this weekend.

...give thanks for them and pray for their families this weekend.

Because this weekend is all about them.

Day 24: Spasms and making the Airdyne my B#$*#

I woke up this morning and I discovered that my arm wasn't in the sling.

....that scared the crap out of me.  Last thing I need is to open up my arm, need new incisions and even worse, have my screws be ripped out of my socket.  

Luckily I hadn't moved a whole lot in my sleep.  I vaguely remember waking up in pain in the middle of the night, and shuffling around.  I guess I took off my sling.  I pray that I don't do that again.

I also noticed today that when I wear my sling, that my shoulder goes into serious spasm.  So, I literally try to not wear it at all during the day.  

Chase told me that it's part of the process.  As I get more active, my arm wants to move more... and it affected him for 2-3 months.

...great. 

In other good news, the Airdyne is no longer as challenging as it used to be.  

I remember the first time I rode it when I arrived at Big D.  My calf was acting up, so Chase had me do the Airdyne instead of running.  

My Grandma had one that she would ride to stay fit.  I have been thinking about her a lot this week.  Monday was the 6 year anniversary of when she passed away and I miss her a lot.  She was all about the Airdyne and doing Tai Chi.  I remember that she would do it for about an hour, while reading a magazine or the newspaper.  I would pop in and she would say hello and even have a conversation.

...I figured if my dear sweet Grandma Dot did it through her 70s and 80s so relaxed and with such elegance and grace, it couldn't be that bad.  

I mean seriously.  My Grandma was adorable.  

...after about 30 seconds on that thing, I discovered why that thing had this nickname:

...and I decided that my Grandmother was a BEAST and some sort of superhero.  She must be looking down on me from heaven, laughing her butt off that her big, big bad CrossFitting, Hockey-playing, granddaughter who also happened to be a US Marine was being absolutely owned by a Schwinn Airdyne.  

...I am sure I am absolutely endearing to her in this struggle. 

...so... I avoided riding that thing like the plague.  No matter how much my legs hurt, I would suck it up and run.  I made it my mission to be awesome at mobility.  I went about 9 months without touching it.. and it was amazing.

Given that I can't run with a sling, I have been stuck on this damn thing. 

The first day back, I hated it so much.  Chase programmed a ridiculous amount of calories.  My arse hurt from the seat.  My legs burned like fire.  It was just not awesome.

Two weeks ago, it took me a minute to do 8 calories on average.  

So... today I did 10 calories on the Airdyne to modify a 400m run... and 20 calories for an 800m run.

...to put that in perspective, it takes me about 1:45 to do a 400m run.  It took me 45 seconds to do 10 calories on the trike.

Sooooooo.... need to reassess that whole math thing. 

It was taking people about 13 minutes to do this workout:

400m Run

25 KBS (53/35lbs)

15 Burpees 

10 Goblet Squats (53/35lbs)

800m Run

10 GobletSquats

15 Burpees

25 KBS

400m Run

I modified it by doing the Airdyne mod I mentioned above, the kettlebell things with one arm and situps instead of burpees..... and I got 8:15 which was just ridiculous.

I have also named the Airdyne that I ride everyday.  Her name is Betty.  I get annoyed when people adjust her seat.

Seriously... don't f#*$ with Betty.  I will know...

Alright.  Time to grab my muscle relaxers and settle into bed.  

Tomorrow... it will be a new day of sling fitness.  

Day 17: Last day of my twenties... and sleds.

I don't have anything profound or insightful for you today really.  Just like a typical CrossFitter, I want to tell everyone about my workout.

I went to daily mass at noon, worked on my homework and then went off to CrossFit in the evening.

Chase decided that today I should have a longer duration workout.  Which meant pulling a sled with a 35 pound plate from straps off of my weightbelt for a mile.

From what Chase described to me, it sounded like a dog walk from hell.. that or that I was essentially a sled dog myself.  The plate was basically my master.

Oh well, at least it was gorgeous out!

Chase buckled me in and I started walking.  I forgot headphones so I figured I would pray the rosary. The obnoxious scraping noise that followed me for the entire time quickly made that impossible.  I couldn't even get through the opening prayers.

Note to self: next time, headphones are NOT optional.

At first I felt really awkward about the whole thing... but eventually I got in a groove.  Compared to hikes with more than 75 pounds in body armor and gear, a little sled with 35 pounds.. wasn't that bad.

...I got to see a lot of lovely Mexican families who were probably wondering what the crazy white girl in a sling was doing.  Many of them waved.  I waved back.

Dogs started barking at me from seemingly every yard, probably perplexed by the noise and the fact that I was pulling a sled.

...even better, about a quarter of a mile in two small dogs came out from their yard and started pursuing the sled... barking... it was pretty hilarious.

The owner seemed highly irritated.  So, I stopped so they would stop following me.  She walked up to them and called them over.  The dogs were not having it.  I started walking again.  They started chasing me.  I probably spent about two minutes trying to sort this out with the poor woman.  I just kept walking.

I then was so distracted that I missed my turn... adding on more time.

Once I got back on track, the rest of the walk was easy.... save for the awkwardness of crossing the street with a sled behind me.

Did the mile in 20:49.  I am sure that next time I will be faster now that I know to ignore small dogs and where to turn.

I turn 30 in a few hours.  I think that was a solid goodbye to my 20s :)

The last decade made me who I am.  I am pumped to see what is in store for the next one.

T-5 Days: Ointment in the nose

Today, I was supposed to work at the rink driving a Zamboni.  But, they emailed me at the last minute to cancel so boom, I had a whole large unstructured day ahead of me.

...with a project due the next day, that is the worst thing for me.  Ever.

I thrive under pressure.  I do my best work and have the greatest inspiration when I have a deadline and I need to push it.  My undergraduate side academically was flipping easy because I had no free time between ROTC and hockey.  So, I would do my homework in between classes and start my papers weeks in advance.

Being a part-time grad student with part-time work... not working so great.  Note to self: next year enroll full-time and play a Division III sport... that'll make it easier.

Anyways, I did just get my PowerPoint done, which totally justifies my blogging right now instead of doing schoolwork.

I started my day off at my CrossFit gym again.  It was a brutal metcon with Calories rowing, box jumps and thrusters... which I had to scale to front squats given that I lack a complete shoulder socket for the next few days.  I have been on these mega antibiotics for a couple days and they have basically sucked the life out of me.  Between that and not taking my supplements, I have been tired, dehydrated and it's been hard to fall asleep.  I held myself back quite a bit but I managed to do pretty well on the WOD.

Afterwards I went for my max power clean and toes to bar.  After nine months of having Chase and Laurie on my case, my power clean max and my squat clean max are the same at 155 pounds (as opposed to a 30 pound difference in the direction of the power clean).  At the end, I did 20 toes to bar in a row (one over my old max) just because.

I got to pick up my latest and greatest pre-surgery prescription today: antibiotic ointment that gets stuffed into each of my nostrils twice daily.  Goes really nicely with my stuffed up nose from the Texas allergies to begin with.  It isn't enjoyable at all.... and I am kicking myself for telling my doctors that I had cellulitis (which apparently is MRSA and will kill me) when I was in the Marines.

I did make it to Mass for the feast of the Annunciation.  I have been really dragging on Daily Mass lately.  What amazes me so much about God is that no matter how much I stray, I can come back to Mass and I just know that I belong there.

Receiving the Eucharist today, I was able to experience a bit of what Mary did with the Incarnation: by saying yes, He lives in me.

I live for those moments and insights.

Thinking about next week and what my life will be like then has me thinking about a lot.  My family will be here and they are not Catholic at all. I am grateful that they will be here, but it's going to be weird to experience Holy Week with them here; chances are it will be tough to sit through the Triduum as it is, let alone recovering from a surgery 4 days previously.

Instead, I will have to experience it in the physical suffering and humility that will come from being dependent on others.  I got the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick for a reason.  I can think of no greater honor during the week where we commemorate the Passion and Resurrection of our Lord than to carry my Cross with Jesus.

...the fullness of the Liturgy is beautiful... but only if it fuels living out the Faith.

T-6 Days: Celebratory Tacos

Today was a good day.

At CrossFit, we were working on Clean techniques as well as work overhead.  Programming called for 5 heavy jerks, but given that I am pretty much missing the front of my shoulder socket, I asked if I could work on my strict overhead press.  My Coach Chase though that was a great idea.

I had not done a single strict press since I moved to Texas.  My last max was 37.5 kilos, or about 83 pounds.  For fun and grins, I decided to throw up 85 on there.  It was EASY. 95, felt good.  105 wouldn't move.  So, I went with 100.  Boom.

My friend and Coach Laurie said that the most important question was how I was going to celebrate... more on that later.

I had a great lunch meeting with a parishioner from the parish I am researching for school.  It was a fantastic meeting.  I'm not sure if it actually led to anything that helps me get my parish portrait done faster, but I loved being present with someone just talking about the awesomeness of the Church and what potential and possibilities existed for them if they continued to follow a life with Christ.

I umpired a double-header of softball all the way out pretty much half-way to Tyler. It was awesome. Great ball and I finally felt like I have gotten the hang of it... just in time for me to get cut open and be out of it for at least two months.  

...but, PRing my old max by 17 pounds warranted celebratory tacos and a margarita.  So Velvet Taco happened.  

God is so good to me...

T-8 Days

So, I'm getting surgery a week from Monday.  After beating up my body in the Marines, hockey, CrossFit and all other kinds of crazy stuff, my shoulder has finally decided that it has had enough and that it's time to get fixed.  Exact procedure is called a Latarjet transfer.  Basically, it's an arthroscopic procedure where the doctor is going to rearrange some bone tissue to replace some bone loss in my socket.. as well as repair all the broken ligaments that have quit on me.  As painful as this sounds, I am excited for my shoulder to return to its rightful place in its socket...

I am going to start blogging again to remind myself of my progress and the love that God has for me. I was pretty frustrated with the idea of another surgery, especially after my Achilles repair in 2012. But, unlike last time, I understand that there is a beauty of healing, and in pain.  In being vulnerable and in need of healing, we can see God work through others in their very best.  I know I will see it in my family:  both my blood coming to Dallas to help me out and my family at CrossFit Big D and my parish.

I am going to be stronger than ever in this because He is greatest when I am weakest.  Lord knows that I am going to be plenty weak for plenty of time.