...Gainz are good... very good.
I have hit a new stride of confidence in my recovery after this weekend of watching some amazing feats of humankind in the CrossFit South Regional.
It was one heck of an experience. The caliber of athletes there was absolutely amazing. Our athlete Audra pushed herself unbelievably hard. The look on her face after getting a snatch at 161 during event 5 was pretty much the highlight of the weekend.
It was frustrating to not be able to partake in any of the little contests that were going on to test fitness, but I held back to keep from hurting myself. I am sure that was probably one of the more prudent things that I have ever done. I know that my PT Brandie was thankful for my restraint on Monday.
Today in particular, I hit a new stride in the positivity train.
At CrossFit today, I ended up with a couple of firsts! Normally on Tuesdays, Chase straps me to the sled and I go for a walk that usually means that I get cheered on/gawked at by the whole neighborhood. Thankfully, Chase decided that since I am sling free, I get to hang out with the big kids.
First, I noticed that there were no other ladies at the gym, so I was on my own to put my hair up. I had to do a warm up on the Airdyne to get my arm warmed up. I put my hair up on my own... with a ridiculously high ponytail, but it worked.
I got to touch a barbell for the first time since surgery! The WOD for today was 5 X 5 of tempo (3 down, 2 bottom, 1 up) back squats. Chase checked on my form with a PVC pipe and directed me to grab a barbell and do 5 x 10 of the same.
I eagerly got the rack ready and went over to grab the barbell.. with just my right arm... carried it like a guideon and threw it onto the rack.. all by myself.
I shimmied my way into position, gripped onto the barbell and stepped back.
I cannot describe how good it felt to have my torso in position and get into a deep squat while holding onto a barbell. Sure, there were no plates on it and it wasn't that hard. But, I was able to keep my position and make every rep solid.
I had to go back and forth between the Airdyne and the rig to keep my arm loose and able to stay in position, but it worked out! I hammered out all of the reps. Heck, I think my backsquat form was even better than before surgery because I was forced to hold the barbell up on my traps as opposed to lower on my back.
I am pumped to see what I can do as I get stronger.
The second part of the workout was 50 strict presses for time. For the non-gimps it was 75% of a one rep max... Everyone reported that this was BRUTAL.
...Chase assigned me a 26 pound KB.... average time in the gym ranged from 7 minutes to over 11.
And I got 4:45. SO... Chase told me that I get to graduate to the 35... great.
I decided to get a jump rope and play. Just single unders. That was really awkward to start with. My arm just didn't want to go. But, I kept at it and I got 30. So I tried again and I got beyond 30... so I kept going and 50... 60... 70...80 and almost lost it... and got to 100.
...that was surprisingly exhausting.
I went for it and got 100 again.
...then I got ambitious and went for double unders... which I sucked at before surgery.
...I got one.
We are not to despise small beginnings.
My mindset has shifted so that now instead of being aggravated at what I have lost due to this injury and the rehab, I am fiercely celebrating what I can do and enjoying how much I am improving and growing in it.
I can't help but realize that when I am at my best version of myself, I also happen to incorporate the awesomeness of those who surround me. The great thing about the Body of Christ is that the truth and goodness of God can be seen in all of His creation. It need not be church-like in order to be Church.
I know that at some points of this process, I have been frustrated, down and mourning past or praying that the future would hurry up and get here. I refused to see how I was blessed or enjoy the gift that was in front of me.
A few of my friends and mentors were instrumental in getting me to pull my head out of my arse and start cooperating with the grace of God. My spiritual director encouraged me to stop thinking so rigidly and start to pray for the people and situations that were giving me the most issues and to let go of what I could not control. Chase set things up so I could push myself at what I could do while still looking out for my best interest. Sylvia has always been there for me to listen to my rants and gently pushed me into the direction I needed to go into.
...and my friend Laurie has always been a constant beacon of support and encouragement to not be a knucklehead, think positive, relax and be present in each moment... in her own way.
All of these influences have moved me to be closer to God and value the gift that He has placed before me in each day.
They manifest in some ways that are more obvious: like my pushing myself as hard as I can for my coaches... and some ways that are more subtle.. such as the sudden introduction of the phrase "I dig it" for my approval of just about anything.
...and when I learned to cooperate with the gift of the present, God started to reveal to me the epic plans that He has for my life.
I think that God places us through these trials of purification because He wants to bestow all kinds of awesomeness upon us. What usually holds us back isn't so much that God doesn't want to give us those gifts, but that our own attitudes and lack of openness to the goodness of God hold us back.
Fear of being vulnerable and losing control is what has been holding me back from the total glory of God and the goodness that He has planned for me.
I know this is something I am going to have to battle as long as I am on this earth... but I know that the past 7 weeks have me a heck of a lot closer to what God has in store for me than before.
Oh.. and I was advised to ice after my serious Gainz. Ya know. To reduce inflammation and to keep Gaining...
Seriously. This is great.
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