It's an interesting time to be single.
In the Church, and especially in youth ministry, we talk about vocations a lot. Most people tend to think of the call to the priesthood and religious life as being the "real" vocations with marriage and especially single life as being an afterthought.
This past weekend, it has been absolutely affirmed that the purpose of being single is to be available for whatever God has in store for you. It's being present and available to others in their time of need, pretty much at a drop of a hat.
It is to be in the world and be the Lord's representative to anyone who needs Him at any time.
It feels like being a firefighter on call. Most of the time I'm sitting around waiting and then all of a sudden I'm off from one crisis to another. There is no "typical day" in my life any more.
Before this surgery, my evenings were totally locked up between class, calling ball and the hockey rink. I made every effort to force routine, order and predictability into my life. I really wasn't present or available to anything that didn't fit in my box or my world.
When I had this surgery, I initially fought and lamented about all that I lost. I lost my ability to work in the jobs that I had while I was in school. I lost the ability to work out for two weeks. I lost a massive amount of muscle mass. I felt useless.
My spiritual director has been challenging me to just relax and be open to what the world has in store for me. My new prayer is to let my day be exactly what God plans for it.
My prayer each morning now is to open myself up to the plan of God. That my day be His day.
On Friday, I spent the entire day with my friend and fellow Marine Kim as she got her ACL repaired. We did the WOD at Big D in the morning at 6am. Coach Laurie looked confused to see us. We normally go in the evening and it was almost like we did not exist in that realm of Laurie's world.
Crushed the WOD (I modified, Kim RXd), went back to her place to shower and off we went to UT Southwestern at about 9am. She went on back and I started with a rosary and then working on my homework in the waiting room. She was not scheduled until 11am.
Her surgery was about two hours. It was interesting to see what was going on in the waiting room during that time. As I cruised through my homework, I observed the human drama that was going on around me.
When Kim got out of surgery, I was itching to get back and see her. But, it took a while for her to get settled.
I started reading a book and a man across from me looked at me. He was an old man, probably in his seventies. His eyes were welling up with tears and he just blurted out to me: "my wife is having a hard time waking up". I put down my book and I looked back and said "I'm so sorry".
She was in pain when she woke up and she couldn't get settled at all. They were going to admit her to the hospital after what was supposed to be a day surgery. I sat with him for the next 15 minutes, hanging out with him and just chatting. I have no idea what his name was or anything else about him, but clearly God wanted me there in that moment so he would have someone to minister to him.
I was called back to see Kim, and she was OUT. She was given finergan for nausea and she was just totally unmoved by anything. After a while, we got her in the car and I got to take her to CVS for her prescriptions. She was so out of it that at one point she blurted out "COWS" out of nowhere.
It was kind of nerve-wracking to know that I had been solely entrusted with Kim, a friend who I really had not known too well before this day beyond my CrossFit gym and sharing stories from the Corps. She was now completely vulnerable and dependent on me to get her through the next few hours. My brain was going a million miles a minute thinking of all the tasks that needed to get done. I ended up having to take her back to my apartment to grab things that I didn't realize that I would need.
Eventually we got her back to her place and settled her in. it was about 4pm. I had not eaten all day, but I had to walk the dog and ensure that Kim had what she needed. After about two hours, I was finally able to sit down and eat.
This didn't bother me at all. I figured I was offering it up. I just sat next to her and we chatted as she went in and out.
At about 8pm Kim's parents came into town. They drove in from San Antonio. They are a lovely Mexican couple. Her dad actually reminded me of a shorter version of my dad. We got Kim in the car and got her meds and went out for tacos. The place was so authentic that they spoke Spanish to us as soon as we walked in the door.
By the end of dinner, Mrs. Hernandez had decided that I was her new daughter with blue eyes.
I finally got home around 11 and I was so tired that I could hardly move.
The next morning, I got up late and it was another day open for God. I spent the majority of it at Snap Kitchen waiting for Kim to wake up so I could deliver food to her. I ended up finishing all of my homework for the semester because she was out for so long. During that time I was available to the other snap staff to chat with them. Luckily, they made surplus food available to me. An opportunity came up for me to watch the Pacquiao/Maywether fight at a firehouse with my other new friend Kim and some of Dallas' finest firefighters.
Today, back up and I made myself available again. Another day of just being open to each opportunity to do something for someone else in need.
It's a lot easier and more fulfilling to live life in constant service to others.
I now cherish each day that I have in this vocation to the single life.. for however long I am to be in this state.
I mean, there are worse things than being a first responder for God.
...and right now, that's what I'm called to do.
This past weekend, it has been absolutely affirmed that the purpose of being single is to be available for whatever God has in store for you. It's being present and available to others in their time of need, pretty much at a drop of a hat.
It is to be in the world and be the Lord's representative to anyone who needs Him at any time.
It feels like being a firefighter on call. Most of the time I'm sitting around waiting and then all of a sudden I'm off from one crisis to another. There is no "typical day" in my life any more.
Before this surgery, my evenings were totally locked up between class, calling ball and the hockey rink. I made every effort to force routine, order and predictability into my life. I really wasn't present or available to anything that didn't fit in my box or my world.
When I had this surgery, I initially fought and lamented about all that I lost. I lost my ability to work in the jobs that I had while I was in school. I lost the ability to work out for two weeks. I lost a massive amount of muscle mass. I felt useless.
My spiritual director has been challenging me to just relax and be open to what the world has in store for me. My new prayer is to let my day be exactly what God plans for it.
My prayer each morning now is to open myself up to the plan of God. That my day be His day.
On Friday, I spent the entire day with my friend and fellow Marine Kim as she got her ACL repaired. We did the WOD at Big D in the morning at 6am. Coach Laurie looked confused to see us. We normally go in the evening and it was almost like we did not exist in that realm of Laurie's world.
Crushed the WOD (I modified, Kim RXd), went back to her place to shower and off we went to UT Southwestern at about 9am. She went on back and I started with a rosary and then working on my homework in the waiting room. She was not scheduled until 11am.
Her surgery was about two hours. It was interesting to see what was going on in the waiting room during that time. As I cruised through my homework, I observed the human drama that was going on around me.
When Kim got out of surgery, I was itching to get back and see her. But, it took a while for her to get settled.
I started reading a book and a man across from me looked at me. He was an old man, probably in his seventies. His eyes were welling up with tears and he just blurted out to me: "my wife is having a hard time waking up". I put down my book and I looked back and said "I'm so sorry".
She was in pain when she woke up and she couldn't get settled at all. They were going to admit her to the hospital after what was supposed to be a day surgery. I sat with him for the next 15 minutes, hanging out with him and just chatting. I have no idea what his name was or anything else about him, but clearly God wanted me there in that moment so he would have someone to minister to him.
I was called back to see Kim, and she was OUT. She was given finergan for nausea and she was just totally unmoved by anything. After a while, we got her in the car and I got to take her to CVS for her prescriptions. She was so out of it that at one point she blurted out "COWS" out of nowhere.
It was kind of nerve-wracking to know that I had been solely entrusted with Kim, a friend who I really had not known too well before this day beyond my CrossFit gym and sharing stories from the Corps. She was now completely vulnerable and dependent on me to get her through the next few hours. My brain was going a million miles a minute thinking of all the tasks that needed to get done. I ended up having to take her back to my apartment to grab things that I didn't realize that I would need.
Eventually we got her back to her place and settled her in. it was about 4pm. I had not eaten all day, but I had to walk the dog and ensure that Kim had what she needed. After about two hours, I was finally able to sit down and eat.
This didn't bother me at all. I figured I was offering it up. I just sat next to her and we chatted as she went in and out.
At about 8pm Kim's parents came into town. They drove in from San Antonio. They are a lovely Mexican couple. Her dad actually reminded me of a shorter version of my dad. We got Kim in the car and got her meds and went out for tacos. The place was so authentic that they spoke Spanish to us as soon as we walked in the door.
By the end of dinner, Mrs. Hernandez had decided that I was her new daughter with blue eyes.
I finally got home around 11 and I was so tired that I could hardly move.
The next morning, I got up late and it was another day open for God. I spent the majority of it at Snap Kitchen waiting for Kim to wake up so I could deliver food to her. I ended up finishing all of my homework for the semester because she was out for so long. During that time I was available to the other snap staff to chat with them. Luckily, they made surplus food available to me. An opportunity came up for me to watch the Pacquiao/Maywether fight at a firehouse with my other new friend Kim and some of Dallas' finest firefighters.
Today, back up and I made myself available again. Another day of just being open to each opportunity to do something for someone else in need.
It's a lot easier and more fulfilling to live life in constant service to others.
I now cherish each day that I have in this vocation to the single life.. for however long I am to be in this state.
I mean, there are worse things than being a first responder for God.
...and right now, that's what I'm called to do.
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