Chase told me that there would be points where I would question why I was doing this.
Waking up in pain with my arm frozen in a sling reminds me that I'm broken.
I hung out with my friends yesterday at the gym and watched them on the rig being able to do any number of things and a twinge of jealousy hit as the only thing I could do was squeeze my stress ball or sit down and do my PT.
I came home from a few hours out completely exhausted and unable to concentrate on anything. My sister straight up took over on anything I tried to do. She knew I couldn't be alone. I was both grateful and frustrated.
I realize now as I wake up on Holy Saturday that to want to crave the past is normal, but to hope for it is delusional.
My shoulder wasn't better in the past. I was injured. I can't undo this surgery and I certainly cannot undo the injury. What is done is done. I must now sit and heal as it is what is prescribed for what I have endured.
Just like learning to pursue virtue instead of a life of sin, there are consequences and healing takes time. But the healing leads to a life that is greater than before.
I need to continue to offer up my suffering, dependence and pain instead of wallowing in it. Luckily, on this great weekend of Triduum, I have the best example possible.
He suffered and doubted, but in the end He denied Himself to the point of death on a cross. He rose again to new life.
He did this for me. It's an honor to carry the cross that He has given me.
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